I awoke Friday morning tired and out of sorts after the wine workshop Thursday night.
I figured it was normal, a wonderful event that I had really looked forward to, now over.
Plus a few long days, long night, etc.
But, when I woke Sunday morning still feeling raw and on the verge
of tears over everything, I decided it was time for some grounding
Putting your bare feet on the earth and letting its energy
just flow right through you
I started off Jane Austen style with a quilt, pillow and my feet touching the grass
Then Renee suggested that we put our 14' skiff in and go island hopping
Promising that we'd take our shoes off on every island and linger on the rocks and sand
It was our first voyage on the water for the year and it is ALWAYS magic
But coming out from under 10 straight days of rain, I think we are talking HEAVEN
It is almost mid June.
Without this year of pause,
it would be my 16th year of the cafe
I would be in SERIOUS gear-up mode right now.
School is almost out, the team would be gathering, the summer people
arriving and soon the leisure part of my life would be OVER until November
As I jumped off the boat onto Potato Island I was filled with
a combination of the excitement I have carried with me all my life
when remembering childhood summers here
AND the youthful amazement contained in my first summer landing here as an adult
and full time resident, almost 16 years ago
Look at this picture.
It is real and exists practically in my back yard! What the heck are those huge white flowers?
I do not in any way regret
the success of my cafe and all the serious wonders it has brought to me
but, as I slide my feet into the sand on Rock Island I know it is time
to chill out on the 'You Must Produce!' part of me and let in
the screaming desire to 'Just Be Here'
From the beach I could see the town in the distance
and I realized I have a month ahead of me with no real commitments
That is a little scary in its wonderfulness.
I think I may just have been grieving a little this weekend.
Letting go of who I have been,
embracing her with gratitude, while also knowing it is time to move on
and own my now
By the end of our day of grounding I had re-embraced my youth.
I don't mean wanting to be 20 again, but those feelings of
hope, dreams, wonder and excitement. The feeling that each day is enough
and I can't wait to see what the next moment brings
I am also very grateful for the captain who seems to so often steer this rocky ship.
So, go out there and put your bare feet on the ground!
Embrace who you really are today, and give yourself a hug